The neighbours are tired of my coughing. They will be glad to see my coffin. I will never leave this room alive. I started smoking to look big and hard at school. (The evidence linking smoking and impotence came later). Aptly enough, we smokers used to gather in the graveyard during the lunch break. […]
“I spoke with my father last night, er and my mother,” I said. “‘Er’ indeed,” said Martin, “you realise they are both dead?” “Yes and no.” “What do you mean, ‘yes and no’. You don’t believe in ghosts do you… and if you say ‘yes and no’ again, this conversation is at an end.” “My
Blackridge is a Sunset home on the South Coast, Worthing I think. I have lived here for…well a long time anyway. The cook/housekeeper, Ilka, is a saint. As far as I know there is no Saint Ilka but there should be. How she puts up with the other residents is a mystery all insoluble. I
