There used to be hitchhikers everywhere. You couldn’t drive five miles without seeing a thumb held out like a hopeful punctuation mark. Now the thumbs are gone. Not missing, just occupied.

 

The Department of Transportation blamed efficiency: ride-sharing apps, optimized routes, predictive demand. But efficiency doesn’t explain why no one stands at the roadside holding a cardboard sign that says ANYWHERE, as if the world were still open to improvisation.

*

The real trouble began when hitchhikers generated data.

*

At first it seemed fair. Drivers rated hitchhikers for cleanliness, conversational tone, and overall vibe. Hitchhikers rated drivers for empathy, lane discipline, and tolerance for silence. Silence performed poorly.

*

One hitchhiker received three stars. Quiet, the driver wrote, but smelled faintly of patchouli and unresolved choices. The hitchhiker appealed, but the form required a destination, which he did not have.

*

Soon hitchhikers were expected to disclose preferences: music, snacks, emotional bandwidth. Some asked if the ride supported mindfulness. Others wanted to discuss their childhoods, but only until the exit ramp.

*

Drivers grew cautious. Hitchhikers no longer wanted rides, they wanted meaning. Meaning took time. Time caused delays.

*

The last hitchhiker appeared on a Tuesday.

*

He stood beside the highway with a sign that read: JUST LISTENING.

*

A car slowed – silent, immaculate, no driver inside. A voice emerged, calm and neutral.

*

“Please state your destination.”

*

“I don’t know yet,” the hitchhiker said. “That’s kind of the point.”

*

There was a pause. Wind moved the grass. A plastic bag crossed the road like a ghost with errands.

*

“I’m sorry,” the car said. “I can’t take you nowhere.”

*

It accelerated smoothly back into traffic, perfectly centered in its lane.

*

The hitchhiker waited, then lowered his sign and checked his phone. He ordered a car to take him somewhere specific.

*

It arrived in four minutes.

*

He buckled his seatbelt and gave the ride five stars – for clarity.

 

 

---

 

 

David Anson Lee is a poet, philosopher, and physician from Texas who explores the quirks of modern life with dry humor and reflective insight. His work often examines human behavior, technology, and the small absurdities that shape daily existence.

 

Photo by Atlas Green on Unsplash

 

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