Mindful Listening by Mark Harbinger
Marriage between telepaths is a vow of privacy. I loved you. Our life together. Raising a family. The triumphs. The sinking emptiness at my core, swallowing me like quicksand.
What was that feeling? Not “conscience,” but its reverse, its inverse. The victim feeling the pain of loss for both, as the betrayer shreds the bonds. Countless misstatements. Changing stories. Unaccounted for time. Quick dissembling. Gaslighting.
Thirty years. Cheating.
Yes, I wanted to rip the memories from you, leaving your mind a scorched field—ravaged and devastated. Hearing your mind beg forgiveness and knowing you meant it.
But, I couldn’t hurt you. I loved you.
So, I suffered without confirmation.
Of course, I didn’t need it. I always heard the lie in your voice.
It became harder each day. I was trapped. I loved you.
And maybe you loved me, too? At the end, were you helping me? In-between labored breaths: “Honey, you’re right. I cheated. I’m so sorry.”
Did I hear that right? Were our hands touching, or our minds, as you said the words?
Or was it me?
###
Now I cry. Not only because you’re gone.
But because, one last time, I heard the lie in your voice.
Mark’s writing has been featured in various online e-zines over the past twenty years. Publications in the pandemic era include: 2 stories for The Noncomformist literary website (2019, 2020); a humorous fantasy short in the 4th edition of the Running Wild Anthology of Stories (2021); self-publishing both an urban fantasy novel and an anthology comic (2021); and, most recently, his poetry has been in BlazeVOX (2022) and upcoming in Poetry Pacific (2024). A retired attorney and IT educator—Mark also directs a philanthropic foundation and enjoys being a father, husband, and a proud servant to Murray A. Goodness (the Cat).
Photo by engin akyurt on Unsplash
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