Billowing Smoke by Roopa Menon
I didn’t know what Death was until my grandfather passed away. He rested in a coffin of smoke from burning joss sticks and flaming coconut shells. My mother and grandmother quietly sat in the corner, their faces hollow from grief, with just traces of the bright red kumkum on their foreheads. With stacks of rose garlands and marigold wreaths placed on him, my grandfather looked lit like a rangoli painting on Diwali day. A priest with the ceremonial thread and resplendent white dhoti waved another set of joss sticks, mumbling prayers and barking orders at the same time. I wished he was quieter so that I could listen to my thoughts. I wondered if the smoke suffocated my grandfather; he was asthmatic. I wondered if my grandfather was dressed in his favourite dhoti set with a matching silver border; he liked to be well-dressed. I wondered if the garlands and wreaths hurt his knees; he had arthritis. I looked around. There was no one to share my worries with. People queued up to say their goodbyes. Soon it was my turn but I wasn’t prepared. I wanted to say goodbye and plant a kiss on his cheeks but his face had turned into a smoke mask. I tried to summon his face from my memory as I prostrated before him but I drew a blank. My fingers trembled and my legs wobbled. Hot steaming tears rolled down my cheeks. My mother and grandmother held me tightly as the pallbearers carried him.
Nights after his death, I awoke screaming, dreaming of my grandfather, unable to remember his face that had melted into a billowing smoke.
Roopa lives in Dubai, UAE. Some of her short stories have been published in Corium magazine, Nunum, Bright Flash Literary Review, Tiny Molecules, and elsewhere, and have been nominated for Best of the Net and Best of Microfiction. Her debut middle-grade fiction, Chandu and the Super Set of Parents has just been published by Fitzroy Books. She tweets erratically @RoopaMenon1
Illustration by Lakshmy Mathur S.
Lakshmy is from an Indian state called Kerala, which is known for its greenery and beauty. She started using colors at a young age. At first her motive was to win competitions as a child. Then it grew with her as a passion.
Lakshmy pursued a degree in Costume Design and Fashion, which helped to nurture her illustration skills. She started her career as an Art Instructor. Now she is working as a Faculty in Fashion Designing and as a freelance illustrator. She also conducts art classes.
To see Lakshmy’s portfolio, please visit: lakshmymathur.wixsite.com/portfolio and her Facebook page where she posts art videos – facebook.com/supersimpledrawings and check out – www.instagram.com/lakshmycreations
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This is gorgeous. So moving. I loved the childlike worries for the grandfather.