Competition Thirty-Two Highly Commended: Those Glorious Waves by Jaime Gill
I know exactly when I should have died. Not in any mystical, predestined sense—in the same way there’s an optimum moment for shareholders to sell before prices plummet.
May 18th 1998, Bali. That’s when my stock peaked.
Our fifth wedding anniversary. That morning, I defied a vicious hangover to wake at dawn and drive us to Kelingking Cliffs. I photographed Katerina at the peak, her sunshine smile mirroring the half-moon bay below. Haven’t seen that picture in decades. Wonder if Katerina kept it?
We descended the slippery cliff-path at her careful pace, despite my impatience. We were always moving at different speeds. Once we reached the white sands I ran towards the sea, ignoring two spindly red flags.
The first wave knocked me off my feet, then the ocean sucked me out with savage force. Exhilaration flipped to panic as I tumbled helplessly underwater, flailing limbs touching nothing. Somewhere in that terror I realised I no longer had any say in whether I lived or died. Only the sea could decide.
I was nearing a strangely peaceful surrender when a surge spat me back onto shore. I clawed towards Katerina, spluttering and laughing. She slapped my shoulder.
“I thought you were drowning!” In her trembling fury, I heard it. She still loved me.
That was the last time I felt that. Maybe the last time she did.
After that—disputes, decline, divorce. I waited to rebound but I’d lost some inner bounce. I invested my energies unwisely and the dividends were more Ds—drink, debt, disappointment.
I tried to get sober, but I wasn’t worth the effort. Now the doctors say the final D’s coming—heart failing, lungs flooding. I’m trying to surrender gracefully but these are such sad, stagnant waters to drown in compared to those glorious waves.
Jaime Gill is a British-born writer living in Cambodia, where he works and volunteers for nonprofits across Southeast Asia. He reads, runs, boxes, travels, writes, and occasionally socialises. His stories have appeared or are forthcoming in publications including Missouri Review, Sun Magazine, The Forge, Fractured Lit, Litro, Trampset, and Oyster River Pages. He’s won awards including a Bridport Prize, Luminaire Prose Award, and New Millennium Writers Award, and been a finalist for the Bath Short Story Award and Oxford Flash Fiction Award. He’s also a three-time Pushcart Prize nominee. He’s currently writing a novel and more short stories. Learn more and sign up for his newsletter at www.jaimegill.com or follow him on www.x.com/jaimegill, www.instagram.com/mrjaimegill or https://bsky.app/profile/jaimegill.bsky.social.
Digital art by Sewkhy Tan – sewkhys_art – Instagram
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Delicious self-indulgence. A very enjoyable read.