Household chores by Roger Haydon
Today:
Barbara will make a full English breakfast for Barry. He has an immensely important conference to attend with a long drive to get there.
Barry will eat the breakfast, give Barbara a peck on the cheek after he has brushed his teeth and say ‘See you tonight darling, all being well.’ and drive off in his white Toyota Rav4 2.5 litre electric hybrid.
Barbara will glance at the dirty dishes in the sink and kick the Miele dishwasher. She will make herself a double espresso using the Gaggia Classic Pro coffee maker and smoke a cigarette on the patio while imbibing caffeine.
Barry will smile and drive at a moderate speed down the motorway, humming along to the nice music excerpts on Classic FM. Barry likes its systemic unctuousness.
Barbara will finish her coffee and cigarette, make a phonecall and say: ‘Darling, it’s me. I’ll be all yours from around lunchtime, so looking forward to it. Big, big kiss.’ She will then take an hour to dress and perfume herself before driving away, smiling, in her Fiat 500 Dolcevita Plus. She will leave the dishes in the sink.
Barry will phone Barbara late in the afternoon. Her voice will say:
‘This is Barbara, I’m so sorry not to be here to take your call. Please leave a nice message and I promise I’ll call you back as soon as.’ At the beep, Barry will say: ‘Darling, something really important has come up, I’ll need to stay overnight so don’t wait up. Big kiss,’ and hang up. He will then down a shot of Glenlivet fifteen year old single malt scotch whiskey, remove his Savile Row silk tie, turn off his iPhone 14 Pro phone and bury it deep in his briefcase.
Roger was born in London but has lived in the North East of England for over 40 years. He retired in 2012 after a varied career including, latterly, the National Health Service. Now he writes flash fiction, short stories and the occasional poem and has had the good fortune to have a number of pieces published online. About seven years ago, he acquired an allotment, grows fruit and veg and wishes he had done it long ago.
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