Hunger by Douglas MacKevett

I’m hungry: For life, for food, for depth. At my aunt’s for dinner with cousins and their brats in tow. Bubba shows up late, fresh from prison for dealing meth. He ignores his fawning parents, glued to his phone, likely arranging his next delivery. My cousins, dressed like furies with big hair, cackle about politics as if their opinions mattered. It’s always interesting that the last wave of foreign invaders consolidate their power by fostering xenophobia. They know their own kind.

“Let’s pray,” my aunt says. To which god? This one sounds vaguely American: Believe in yourself; yes, we can. I flashback to a lakeside storytelling contest: some warbler in white socks spinning a sob story about a mocked 4th grader turned Senator. As the evening drones on, I become aware that this has been a huge mistake, not only for the mashed potatoes prepared from powder.  I feign some urgent appointment. My relatives are startled but I bolt before they can reply. “By the way”, I remark over my shoulder, “Bubba just scored a deal and is delivering some smack as we speak”. I notice later when I get home that one cousin has unfriended me.

Poor Bubba. Raised in suburban spiritual desert, religious fervor his only nutrient. No wonder he chose sex, drugs, and death metal, the sole connection to the depths of his soul in this efficiency-obsessed wasteland. Starving, I hit the city. At a Bible stand, I ask whether I can actively gain salvation through good deeds. The cuter, married one seems willing to enlighten me. An hour later in my flat, she’s on her knees proselytizing. Afterwards, I ask her if she’d like to go out to dinner with me. She politely declines, saying that she needs to return. Maybe some other time, I say.

Douglas MacKevett was born and raised in the USA and has lived abroad since 1992. His original interest in language and literature began with a degree at UCSB and culminated in a Master’s degree in Education. Since that time, he has lived in Siberia, Mexico and, since 1995, in Switzerland. His current interests and influences include mythology and medievalism based on the works of Robert Graves, Martin Shaw and CG Jung.

www.linkedin.com/in/douglas-mackevett

Illustration by Ghost, “hunger”, 2024, via artstation.com/a_ghost_studio/profile

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