Regime Change by Ryan Deysher

****The first mayor of the village had no head, limbs, or body. It was just a pile of hair. The village was peaceful and prosperous during the pile of hair’s reign, so the mayor was considered judicious.

****This all changed on a night many years ago. A swift wind blew from the mountainside and shifted the pile of hair slightly off-kilter, thus creating a new hairstyle. Almost immediately, the village’s luck turned. At the very least, the villagers noticed a vague sense of cultural erosion, alongside a feeling of unease.

****The villagers spoke privately in hushed tones about their struggles. They came to the conclusion that their woes were the result of a tyrannical turn the pile of hair had recently taken, coinciding with the swift wind that blew its follicles slightly askew. A new era of unrest had begun.

****One day, in the throes of the village’s unrestful period, a farmer’s pig escaped from its pen. For days, the pig wantonly rooted around the village, symbolic of the chaos. Eventually, the pig made its way to the residence of the mayor. The animal promptly gobbled up the pile of hair, in an event remembered for its violence.

****It was a revolution—a time of great change. The villagers were overjoyed at the demise of the dictatorial mayor, but were at a loss with what to do with the pig and the farmer that owned him. The laws of the village dictated that the murder of the mayor was the highest possible treason.

****It was an unprecedented case—one that required the guidance of experts. As such, the villagers brought the case to the Hall of Adjudicators, located atop the same mountain where the dark wind that had blown the mayor to evil originated.

****The Adjudicators were locked in deliberation for what seemed like an eon. Eventually, they descended the mountain to give their orders.

****It was determined that the pig would be given leniency, on account of the mayor’s unwitting evil. In a sense, the pig’s act was one of heroism, made all the more heroic by the fact that the pig was completely unaware of itself. One of the two cardinal truths as laid out by the Adjudicators was that the truest form of heroism is unwitting heroism.

****The caveat was that the pig’s owner had to be executed. His pig’s escape was a minor mistake and ultimately beneficial, but was brought on by unwittingness. The second of the two cardinals truths as laid out by the Adjudicators was that the truest form of evil is unwitting evil.

****This marked the end of the period of unrest. The villagers were satisfied with the clean conclusion of the case. The pig was elected mayor. It ruled peacefully for years, until a sudden cascade of water descended the mountainside, drowning the village. In an instant, the whole of history was erased.

****Years later, a new village was erected atop the remnants of the old village. The story about the pig developed alongside the new village, until the tale became a local legend. If asked, the villagers will recite it by heart with poetic gusto. It is quite the cultural experience. However, I implore you to leave it at that. Don’t you dare ask the locals for the meaning of the pig story. They don’t know and they don’t want to know. Neither do I. And why would you?

Ryan Deysher is a writer living in Wilmington, DE. His work can be found in Beaver Magazine, Misery Tourism, and The Oakland Arts Review.

@hollywood.deysh

Illustration – Trial of a sow and pigs at Lavegny – via Wikimedia Commons