The First Time I Hated Winter by Rifkah Mannaf
It was winter, that afternoon when I was sweeping a pile of snow off the front yard. I had always loved the season, and everything felt so calming. Now and then I sighed, for the snow was heavy. No one seemed to care, not even my younger brother, who let me clear it all alone. Still, I kept going, because I loved the snow that fell like a blessing.
That evening, along with the cold air, I heard footsteps approaching the yard. It was you, smiling wide, the smile I had known so well since we first met in our fifth semester.
“Hey, my partner in crime!” you called out, your voice ringing a little louder than usual.
You waved both hands before reaching the yard. Without realizing it, I stopped shoveling, grinning wide enough to show my crooked teeth.
“Hey, Mr Lawyer!” I answered, waving back at you.
As always, you carried a bag of chocolate cream puffs, which I loved so much. But this time was different; in your other hand was a bouquet of chrysanthemums.
“Who are those for?” I asked.
“For your mother,” you replied.
My eyes widened, warmth flooding in where words failed me. But this time was different; you refused to come inside. I just stood there, confused, clutching the flowers and the bag of cream puffs. Your face suddenly turned somber. I didn’t understand why. All I knew was your quiet request, “Please give these to your mother.”
Then you left, walking slowly but steadily. You didn’t look back, didn’t wave. I couldn’t say anything, except to lie down on the snow, the flowers already fallen somewhere along with the bag of cream puffs. I let my body sink into the freezing ground. It was strangely comforting to lie there. I hoped the cold would creep all the way into the burning core of my heart, the one aching after receiving your gifts and your wedding invitation with another girl I never knew.
It felt cold, frozen, until I wanted to laugh atop that pile of snow.
I could still hear your voice before you left my yard,
“Thank you… I hope you’ll still be my best friend.”
And that was the first time I ever hated winter.
Rifkah Mannaf is a psychology graduate and currently a master’s student in psychology at Yogyakarta State University, Indonesia. Some of her writings have appeared on Indonesian national platforms, including Langgam Pustaka, Rahma.ID, and IDN Times. Her work often reflects on inner life, faith, and memory, and she regularly shares her reflections through her Medium and Instagram account @sincerelyrmannaf.
Photo by Filip Bunkens on Unsplash
Enjoyed reading this flash fiction? Like the artwork? Why not buy the author or the artist a coffee or a beer? Donate here – Please state the name!
BOOKSHOP / TWITTER / INSTAGRAM / BSKY.SOCIAL / DONATE / LINKS/COMPS/INFO
*
Posted in
Tags:
Tags:
This is really good. I love the intrigue of the title, and the collapse in the snow at the end. It felt comical and sad at the same time.