They’re Stupid by Arthur Shattuck O'Keefe
***Bruno Flanagan, Associate Professor of English, returns from the men’s room, walks to the bar, and orders a second pint of amber ale. It is Friday night, and his commitment to avoid a weekend in hangover recovery has once again receded into cognitive dissonance. Having some food with the booze will mitigate the effects, he convinces himself, making a mental note to leave in time for the last train. (It is a 90- minute ride, but he prefers suburban Kanagawa to the crowds of Tokyo.)
***At the table nearest Bruno, there is an earnest discussion on a trendy, controversial topic. He has his own views, of course, but has become convinced through experience that “agree to disagree” is a dying value, and there is always the chance someone will effectively claim that agreement with their opinion is mutually inclusive with basic human decency. Such tactics have never changed Bruno’s mind, quite the opposite, but each time left him depressed for days afterward. As someone at the table launches into a straw man argument, he feels vindicated in being a silent listener. Tuning out the conversation, he shifts his gaze to the window.
***In the far distance, a massive crane moves in the stark glare of floodlights, and Bruno feels grateful that he is here waiting for a beer and not working construction at night, though he assumes the crew is paid extra for night work. He marvels at the crane and its capabilities, at the electrical grid, logistics chains, and all the things that make possible the commonplace miracle of bringing a high-rise building into existence.
***Bruno gets his pint, and a familiar female voice calls his name.
***He turns around to greet Hitomi, a colleague, friend, and Tokyo native who would doubtless be bored if she had to live in Bruno’s quiet, semi-rural corner of Kanagawa. Bruno thinks of her as his sempai, which literally means “senior,” but implies something akin to a mentor-apprentice relationship. Being administratively disorganized, Bruno considers himself more or less a failed apprentice.
***“Hi,” says Bruno. “I didn’t see you come in.”
***“I just got here,” says Hitomi in newscaster-perfect American English. “Let me introduce you.” She indicates a woman standing behind her. “This is Yuko. She used to teach with the department, before you joined us.”
***“Nice to meet you,” says Bruno.
***“Likewise,” says Yuko. “Hitomi tells me you’re from Upstate New York.”
***“Guilty as charged. Yourself?”
***“Osaka. But I’ve lived in Tokyo for the past ten years.” Unsurprisingly, her English is on a par with Hitomi’s, and Bruno learns that she is a full professor at the Tokyo campus of one of Japan’s most prestigious universities.
***“Do you like teaching at a women’s university?” Yuko asks him.
***“I do. But coed schools are fine, too. I’ve taught at a few, part-time.”
***“When I started at my current university, I’d never taught boys before. It’s very different.”
***“Different how?” asks Bruno, and Yuko laughs.
***“They’re stupid,” she answers.
Arthur Shattuck O’Keefe was born in New York and lives in Kanagawa, Japan. His debut novel The Spirit Phone was released in 2022 by BHC Press. His short fiction has appeared in Johnny America, ScribesMICRO, Ragazine, The Stray Branch, and Flash Fiction Magazine.
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