Atlas Suffocated by Daniel Guy Baldwin
The barren trees are glistening in a mist-like rain, illuminated by the dull orange glow of a street light. You would have hated it; a reminder of the bleakness of winter. A realism to match my idealism.
I lost myself in the beauty of the world, and you would lose yourself in that same ugliness. A matter of perspective. You begged me to understand, unable as you were to stop your heart from breaking in conjunction with the news. Now I keep the heating off but the cold is just tangential.
Warmth is quickly absorbed by the vacuum you left. I cannot bring myself to sit where you once sat, or rest where you once lay. At dinner, I sift through sustainable produce. Organic and guilt-laden.
“The trees are burning. The water is rising. The children are crying.”
So, I would cradle you for hours hoping to make it better and knowing that I wasn’t.
You were a martyr, sacrificing yourself for the oblivious and the unaware. Carrying the weight of the world, Atlas suffocated, choked by a smog-stained sky.
Your suffering had become global. I was blind to it all, enraptured by the trappings of daily life. My fatal assumption was that you would always be here. Now no one is coming. Least of all you.
I do what you would’ve done. Plants trees and donate blood. And I hate you because of it. Burdens I never wished to bear. Then I understand. Nobody wants to save the world, they simply know they must.
The first truly selfish thing you did was your last. And I hate myself for hating you, but I miss you more than that. You once said you would have died for me; I really wish you could have lived for that same reason.
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Daniel Guy Baldwin is a writer currently living in Newcastle-Under-Lyme, a Philosophy graduate from Keele University and trying his best to write meaningful fiction with varying degrees of success.
Atlas Suffocated was Long-listed in Competition Three
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Photo – Mike Lewinski – flickr
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