The Burial by E.P. Lande

As was customary, the entire community gathered for the burial. Samuel Rosen had lived a long life. As his coffin was lowered into the grave, but before dirt was thrown in to fill it, the rabbi, standing at the head of the grave, spoke.

“My dear friends, as is required by our laws, we are obliged that some member of our congregation say a positive word about the deceased before we fill his grave.”

He waited…but no one stepped forward.

“He was a gonif,” Miriam said, “…a real thief,” and she spat into the open grave.

“A mamzer,” Saul spat into the grave, “…a bastard.”

“An alter noyef…a dirty old man,” Esther spat.

“A chaser…a pig,” Rozelle dripped spittle onto the coffin.

“Pasudnik, you revolting, disgusting, evil man,” Sofie stumbled as she spat.

Everyone disliked the deceased. The rabbi looked uneasy as he looked around for someone to say something…anything…positive about Samuel Rosen. It seemed like an eternity…until he finally noticed a hand timidly raised above the crowd.

“Chaim…schlemiel, do you have something positive to say about our departed?” the Rabbi asked, hopefully.

“Ayn vayser vayser zayn vater…his father was worse,” Chaim said.

E.P. Lande, born in Montreal, has lived in France, Vermont and now in S. Carolina. As Vice-Dean, he taught at l’Université d’Ottawa. He has owned and managed country inns and restaurants. Since submitting three years ago, more than 125 of his stories have found homes in publications all over the world, “Expecting” nominated for Best of the Net. His debut novel, “Aaron’s Odyssey”, a gay-romantic-psychological thriller, and “To Have It All”, a psychotic thriller, have recently been published in London. “Dancing With Katie”, an Argentine tango sweet romance, will be published this year.

Image courtesy of Lisa Darden

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